42 things I've learned in 42 years

Plus: an exclusive birthday offer.

Still my favorite photo ever.

Today, I turn 42.

Forty-two is my favorite number. I don’t know why, other than that I always thought it was funny(?). It’s the first birthday I’ve had in a long time where I didn’t feel some sort of anxiety about getting older, other than the regular kind of anxiety where it feels like everything is moving too fast.

I’ve never put a paywall on a Hey Eleanor post, but I’m doing it in honor of my birthday. I’m calling it a gift to myself for the work I typically do here for free. If you enjoy Hey Eleanor, consider sending a few bucks my way. It helps me prioritize the things I enjoy doing (writing) and do less of the things I don’t (where to even start?).

This week only: Go here for 42% off an annual membership.

Thanks for making this my favorite place on the internet!

---

1. Just buy the thing you really want, even if it’s more expensive. Otherwise, you’ll probably spend just as much money buying three of the almost as good things in the process.

2. You don’t need it in every color, no matter what that influencer says.

3. The sooner you realize your reason for exercising is how it makes you feel versus how it makes you look, the better.

4. But start strength training. Your future self will thank you.

5. A lot of the biggest assholes you meet in life will be very, very nice to you most of the time. This is on purpose. Try to avoid those people.

6. Just stop and get gas now, you will not want to do it in the morning.

7. Who you marry matters a lot, but a marriage/partnership is waaayyyy less good (and so are you) without excellent friendships. Invest in those like your marriage.

   

   My friends!

8. Buy it in the size you are, not the size you wish you were.

9. It’s okay if you still don’t have a mindfulness practice.

10. As a person who tries to cook an actual dinner most nights, the key is to master a few easy recipes and make them over and over and over again.

11. Invest in a good knife.

12. It’s dorky and kind of cringey, but signing up for an improv class 15+ years ago was one of the best things I’ve ever done for managing my anxiety.

13. Speaking of anxiety: Next time you’re spiraling, drink some water. Have a snack. Take a walk. Rest your eyes for a few minutes.

14. Find a morning routine that’s so enticing that you’re excited to get out of bed. Mine is making coffee, drinking an LMNT/Regular Girl water, and reading a book. Preferably without children. Preferably with my dog.

15. You are not a better person because you wake up early. But sometimes you will feel like it.

16. People you love will make horrible mistakes and choices that will make you want to smack them. But be gentle, because they’re only human (and you’re going to mess up, too).

17. It’s okay if you don’t like dogs, but I’ll secretly think you’re broken.

    

    One of my first days with my bestie, Patsy Cline.

18. Order the weird thing off the menu, it’s probably delicious.

19. Seek out advice, but know that ultimately, you are the one who has to live with whatever choices you make. Not your parents, not your friends, not some Instagram “coach”. Making choices that align with someone else’s wants or values will never make you happy.

20. Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

21. Old people are way more interesting than young people. Not even close.

22. One kid is an adventure. Two or more is a lifestyle.

23. The carrots with the actual carrot tops taste one million times better than the big ones you buy in a bag. And baby carrots are basically little orange flavorless water wads…

24. But they are way easier to deal with and my kids eat them, so I buy them anyway.

25. You really don’t need that much in your closet. I wear the same 10 things, and even if people notice, they don’t say anything. I doubt they even notice.

26. My favorite thing at Costco is a fountain soda water.

27. It’s probably not about you.

28. Beware of anyone trying to sell you supplements.

29. The best show in the history of shows is Catastrophe.

30. It’s so easy to say “ask for help.” But asking for help is hard, because it usually means knowing what you need, and knowing what you need is hard. And if you knew what you needed, you’d probably would have already fucking done it. So maybe instead of asking for help, just tell someone who loves you that you’re struggling. (I did this last week!)

31. Most days, I think my kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

    

    …and I haven’t been this relaxed since.

32. Most days, I think my kids are the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. (But I love them. I really, really do.)

33. You don’t have to say everything you think.

34. Social media makes you less happy.

35. Getting a carwash (inside and outside) is an instant mood lifter.

36. Most things you hate about yourself can probably be traced back to some dickhead who once made an offhanded comment about you that they probably don’t even remember.

37. Surround yourself with people who respect you just as you are.

38. You’re going to be dead soon, so just fucking do the thing that makes you happy!

39. Make time to read. Audiobooks count.

    

    I went to the BWCA once.

40. Texting is fine, but a phone call is better.

41. Boring clothes become an outfit if you add fun earrings and shoes (and a bright coat if it’s winter).

42. Learn to enjoy your own company. You are pretty fun to hang out with.

---

What are your best life lessons? Share with the rest of us!